Enjoy Bath With Manner
Please take your underwear off before you go in

Fun Fact: Elfland!

Elfland was a phenomenon at UC Santa Cruz wherein students built huts out of tree branches in the woods around campus. A tin box with a guest book is then left inside for visitors who find the hut to sign. People tell ghost stories in the huts at night, and in times past, it was one of the many places to go to do drugs and take part in an orgy.
Much of Elfland was destroyed when the dorms for Colleges 9 and 10 were built, but many huts remain if you no where to look. Here is a low resolution Elfland map based on a map in the McHenry Library's Special Collection.

your tax dollars at work

Coco Rocks

Mail Bag

My friend Yasu of Japan provides content when he writes:

"I read your blog!  (partly, though)  It's a bit difficult for me to read. I'm poor at reading English...  I'm not sure I could understand what you want to say. (The only thing I could understand might be "Bubble Bobble")   Why are you dancing with tiger doll? Anyway,  it seems  great!! that's your routine, right? I wiil keep on checking from now on."

Thanks, Yasu! I hope it's okay I posted your email!

Fun Fact: Bhang!
Bhang is a drink consumed by high caste Hindus made from marijuana. Bhang is traditionally used as a spiritual aid, and in most recipes it resembles something like a lassi.


I hate the government.

The Bush Tax

The Stork Is The Bird of War!

Watch Nina Paley's The Wit And Wisdom Of Cancer.

And then another film by her, which may or may not be called The Stork Must Be Stopped.

And finally, a "cameraless film", which she etched by hand on to each frame of IMAX film she salvaged: Pandorama.

Prions Strike Back

Hey look, a Mad Cow. But just because it entered the food supply, and was infected from cow brains that were fed to tens of thousands of other cows, which all entered the food chain, don't worry. There is nothing to worry about! Because we say so. Yes. Now look away.

Are you prepared for: Fun Fact: Johnny Appleseed?

John Chapman, aka Appleseed, was more interesting than the guy in the Disney cartoon we watched in 4th grade.

Chapman was a vegetarian who never wore shoes, slept in hollow logs, and spread Swedenborgian gospel as eagerly as he spread apple seedlings to the pioneers.
In 1800, when he traveled the rivers on the newly settled Midwest, he was one of perhaps only 400 American followers of the Church of New Jerusalem, a Christian sect based on the visions of Emanuel Swedenborg. Swedenborgian doctrine holds that women are the equals of men and that followers of any religion can go to Heaven if they live a moral life. Chapman believed in the divinity of nature, and preached his Swedenborgian nature-worship to all who would listen. He liked to sleep in the true wild, and never owned a home, yet devoted his life to taming the west with apple orchards.

Contrary to popular belief, the Midwest already had apples before Chapman got there. Apples have heterozygosity, that is, "if you slice open a Red Delicious and plant the five seeds inside, the apples you grow will neither be red, nor delicious." To get an edible apple, you need to graft (clone) a branch of an existing Red Delicious. Grafted trees of edible varieties were already available in Ohio when Chapman got there. What Chapman provided were cheap sour, inedible apples, that pioneers would use to make hard cider.

Johnny Appleseed brought cheap alcohol to the Midwest.

But Chapman, as part of his Swedenborgian faith, didn't drink alcohol.

Learn more in the excellent book, Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan, or listen to this radio interview with Pollan.

I was torted from behind

Tort Reform is Bullshit. And not just some of the time, but consistently, tort reform is just plain bullshit.

Bush In 30 Seconds

Today's best ad: In My Country

Oh, that's pretty trivial...

Play Petals Around The Rose and then read this 1977 "Personal Computing" magazine article that mentions a young Bill Gates playing the game. He eventually started winning at it, but only because he had memorized all the combinations of dice and their corresponding answers from previous rolls.

Bush in 30 Seconds

MoveOn is running a contest where 1000 members have submitted potential campaign ads for members to vote on, with the eventual winner to be shown during Bush's State of the Union address.

Of the 40 I've seen so far, He Can't Do That is one of my favorites.

recipe #9: Fennel Seed Tea

Grind 2 tsp of fennel seeds and pour 1C of very hot water over them. Infuse for 10 minutes and then strain. Great when sweetened. Tastes like nothing else, well scratch that. It tastes like the candied fennel seeds you get from the little bowl at the counter on the way out of the Indian restaurant. But that's a pretty good thing to taste like.

Tom Kean to Mysteriously Die

Republican Tom Kean, who was chosen by the Bush Administration to head the 9/11 Commission after war criminal Henry Kissinger was deemed unacceptable by prissy WTC survivors, has declared that 9/11 "was not something that had to happen." and apparently promises "major revelations as early as next month in public testimony"

Wear black -- bring attitude -- get hicky

I bitched about the $17 espresso until I tasted it.

You Just Tweezered My Wang

I declare that the Simpsons Is Back. Remember when Simpsons was good? Well, it's good again, so if you've lapsed, it is time to resume viewing. It's the antidote to the episodes when Marge got breasts and when Skinner wasn't Skinner... (worst. episodes. ever.)

In other news: Saturday Night Live Still Unwatchable.

Listen, I don't come to your night job and slap the dick out of your mouth...

Everyone knows the Lord of the Rings films were shot simultaneously to save money and keep a consistent style, but few people realize that Hugh Grant films are shot exactly the same way.

Road Trip/Pilgrimage: Mangosteen!

You can't read this article about mangosteens (a google cache of a NYTimes story) and not want a mangosteen. The writer informs us that "words can no more describe how mangosteens taste than explain why I love my wife and children."
A chef relates that the first time she tasted one she "burst into tears at the sheer perfection of it, almost pushed to mawkish poetry."

So let's road trip to Vancouver to get some.

Google Baiting
Speaking of the miserable failure, why stop there? I mean, he's also a drunk crackhead unelectable moron.

Just saying.

Regular-Deluxe is for suckers! A Jasonarium Update:
Okay, new plan: Let's see the Sat Dec 20 3:45 manatee showing of LOTRIII. Agreed? Great.

Announcing: International Jasonarium 2003, Super-Deluxe

Greetings and Welcome. Does Jason personally know you? If so, congratulations, you have qualified and are officially invited to International Jasonarium 2003, Super-Deluxe, the premiere entertainment event of the season.

Corresponding to Jason's glorious entry into this world, on December 17th all shall gather to celebrate his birth, with tostadas, and champagne.

Your pass code for entry into this event is #000923748m. Remember this number.

After consulting with Peter Jackson, he has agreed to release his long awaited third installment of Lord of the Rings on the same day, and thus, it is suggested that all should see this movie on wednesday the 17th together, at the individual's expense, at the Orinda Theatre, after a nice dinner somewhere.

Please refer to this internet number regarding showtimes.

Because it is known that some of you are involved in the antiquated social construct of "Employment," it is suggested that all shall see the wednesday 8pm show, although these tickets should be purchased early, given their likelihood of sell out.

Because of the need to preorder film tickets, please RSVP. Your significant others are welcome at Jasonarium, the more the merrier, but please alert Jason to your plans by writing to his email number or calling him on the parlephone.

Coveted Socktopi Product Endorsement
Trader Joe's Oyster Mushroom Chips, which are oyster mushrooms turned into a potato chip type of food, are awesome. How can this not be the preferred method of eating fungi? Go buy now!

P-Funked Up
I guess it was a mistake to not go see George Clinton when he played in Oakland a couple months ago, because he's been arrested on drug charges, and since he's not Rush Limbaugh, this could actually send him to prison.

The Coveted Endorsement
If you live in San Francisco, might I recommend voting for Matt Gonzales tuesday?

Moby doesn't just go around rubbing his penis on famous people...
Apparently, he likes to takes his penis out at public functions and rub it against unwitting celebrities. He looks sheepish... "I never actually did it," he says. But it's in all the papers. "Friends of mine did it."

Now, (Moby) says, he's so keen to start out afresh, and be judged on merit rather than reputation, that his next record will be under a pseudonym. Then he tells me the name: Voodoo Child. It's not a pseudonym if you tell everyone the name, I say. He looks slightly hurt. "Well - it's still a pseudonym."

A Fistful of Streaming

A Fistful Of Soundtracks is a radio program that started on UC Santa Cruz's student radio station KZSC. I heard a really great episode last year with the theme of 60's spy movies. The selection is eclectic but knowledgeable.
Now you can listen to A Fistful Of Soundtracks as a 24 hour internet radio stream.

(place Nirvana/politics pun here)
Krist Novoselic may run for Lt. Governor of Washington in 2004.

Happy Boy Mannequin
Hoffmania! points to this eBay item, and one has to wonder what exactly he was searching for when he found it.

Googlisms
Look at me! Googlism baiting pays off.

If I Won The Lotto...
I'd probably buy one of those Craftmatic Adjustable Beds.

Actually if you click on that adjustable bed image, you'll see that people seem to think negatively of the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed. But the basic idea of what I'm saying is that if I won the Lotto, I'd buy a lot more crap from infomercials.

Recipe #8: Vegan Pumpkin Cheesecake

1 large (29 oz) can prepared pumpkin
1 1/4C succanant or other sugar
5 tsp cinnamon
3 tsp clove powder
2 tsp ginger powder
1 tsp nutmeg powder
1 tsp salt (optional, I prefer a pinch)
1 tsp cornstarch (to bind)
some sort of egg replacer/binder for "4 eggs" worth. For this, Ener-G is good, but there are others, like Wonderslim, or you could experiment with banana, flax, or agar agar.
...
1 container of Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese
1/2C sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
a little water or soymilk (1/4C, just to make blending easier)
...
2 nine inch crusts
...
preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Mix the 1 1/4C sugar and spices together, and then use an electric beater to mix in the pumpkin. Pour into the pie crusts, but don't fill to the brim.

Now mix the Tofutti and sugar/vanilla/little bit of soymilk in a small bowl. Whip it until it is completely blended, then pour over the top of the pumpkin creating a second layer on your pies.

The pies are safe to eat without cooking, but you will want to bake them so they aren't runny. The baking time will depend on how firm your filling was to start with. Baking will also brown the white cheesecake top of your pies. Baking shouldn't take more than 30 mins, and could take only 5 or 10 if you made really thick filling to start with. You can check your pies while baking by sticking a knife into them. If it comes out "clean" or close to clean, take out the pies, they are done. Let them cool on the countertop for an hour, or as long as you can resist eating them, and they will firm up even more. The idea being that you want the slices to keep their form.

I like to sprinkle cinnamon over the top of the pies as decoration, and also because cinnamon is delicious.

ATTN: Accomplices

I was watching this show on VH1 called "I Married MC Hammer" and... what? No, that was really the name of the show. The point was tha... No, I am not making this up. Listen.

MC Hammer lives in Tracy which is like 35 miles away from my house. So later this month, during Christmas Break sometime, let's pilgrimage/road trip to Tracy to track Hammer down.
I want my photo taken while standing in front of: (in ascending order of difficulty)
1) one of the real estate signs with Hammer's Wife's picture on it (she is a real estate agent)
2) Hammer's Church
3) Hammer's new Tracy house
4) Hammer's old $10 million HammerTime house in Fremont, as seen on the Simpsons
5) a smiling MC Hammer
6) Hammer's house, while being chased around the yard by MC Hammer

Also, I'm thinking this road trip might need to be done entirely while wearing Hammer pants.

RSVP

Condoms Not Effective In Curing AIDS

There are big headlines in every newspaper, and in the scroll bar on CNN: Study casts doubt on echinacea as cold remedy! and Echinacea Not Effective In Treating Colds!

Uh, except that nobody ever claimed that echinacea was a REMEDY for or a way to TREAT colds. Taken regularly, it's supposed to PREVENT colds NOT CURE them. Sorry for the SHOUTING.

It just seems like the only time herbal medicines are given studies, the research is intentionally designed to "disprove" them and sell more Robitussin.

I.R.uS

Here is an interesting blog devoted to raising taxes. No, Really.

Remember When Floppy Disks Were Really Floppy?

Shouldn't you be running a Commodore 64 Emulator, right now? Okay, maybe you don't think so, but let me explain.

I read a book that mentioned that a music programmer named Rob Hubbard, whom I'm assuming is unrelated to L. Ron, wrote a pioneering piece way back in the early days of computer noises: The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds written in Assembly Language. Now that's just awesome, but I couldn't find anything about it on the net.

But I did find The Complete Works of Rob Hubbard - an unofficial web site dedicated to Rob Hubbard and his revolutionary and inspiring work on the Commodore 64 which has all(?) 72 C64 games he wrote as both playable game and music files. Playable that it, on a C64. You can see the user voted on Top 20 C64 compositions of Rob Hubbard, but the real money is in his composition for Monty On The Run. The music for Monty was so amazing that is started a craze of sorts, making Hubbard famous, as far as C64 programmers went. Any game he worked on after that sold many more copies on the power of the fact that he had worked on the score.

And I can see why, Monty On The Run is just that good. So download it and play it on the SIDeKick C64 music player. It's worth running a C64 emulator to hear it.

Fun With Learning: Chufa!
Chufa is fun to say. Go ahead, say it. Choo-fuhh! See? Fun.

Chufa is what real Spanish horchata is made from. (Well, chufa, water, and a lot of sugar.) Chufa is one of the original domesticated foods. Egyptian Pharaohs were buried with it close at hand so they could snack on it in the afterlife. Chufa is a root that tastes like an almond. You can eat them raw like Egyptians, or make horchata like Spaniards in your blender. Best of all, about a hundred years ago they tried growing it in the southern United States, using the tasty domesticated Ethiopian strains. It wasn't profitable, but now they can't get rid of it! The African crop grows all over like a weed, supposedly from Alaska to Mexico. Some say, "if you can't beat it, eat it!"

It looks like this. I've seen it, and next time I find it, I'm gonna eat it!

So if you seem some Chufa, dig it up and make some horchata, or just buy some, whatever, the important thing is Chufa. I told you learning was fun. Thank you, Euell Gibbons! Chufa!

Google Spiking Pays Off
Atrios points out this fun search.

All The News That's Fit To Print, but hasn't been

In Afghanistan we offered Warlords a bounty for turning over Al Qaeda fighters. So the warlords kidnapped people, told us they were Al Qaeda, and collected the bounty. We then took these kidnapped people to Guantanamo where we help them in cages with no access to lawyers or family members. We kept them in Cuba so we wouldn't have to give them little concessions, like trials, or freedom from torture. And even though we now know that at least 20% of the Guantanamo prisoners are just random people that were kidnapped and sold to us, we haven't let them go because we are "waiting for a politically propitious time to release them."

Thus reports TIME Magazine in a story that seems like front page material to me, but so far has only been picked up by 7 international newspapers, and domestically by 3: the Chicago Tribune, the Newark Star Ledger, and the Washington Post.
Apparently Reuters, UK thinks this in newsworthy, but not the American Reuters newswire?