Sic Semper Socktopi

Welcome to my Autohagiography.

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Location: United States


Must See

"Imagine Rob Schneider’s The Hot Chick re-imagined by David Lynch on powerful hallucinogens."

Let's go!


Fun Fact: Pill Bugs

Rollie Pollies are the only crustaceans that live out of water. They are Land Lobsters!


The Spirit of the Stairs

BoingBoing points to this fantastic mp3 of Fight Club's Chuck Palahniuk reading his new short story "Guts"
It's funny, but it's creating a stir on the book tour because people keep becoming physically ill during the reading.

You've been warned.

No, it's bad for you, that's what makes it cool.

Sassafras tea tastes so good, that I don't care the FDA banned it as a carcinogen.
(sassafras tea is unfermented root beer.)
Lots of sites report how to make sassafras tea, but always from fresh root, which is apparently readily available in the eastern United States. But in sunny California you have to buy it dried at the Herb Room or Elephant Pharmacy. I can't really seem to find good information about proper brewing quantities for using dried powder... But 1t per cup plus a piece of cinnamon bark brewed for 15 minutes made a nice tea, it just wasn't as strong as root beer. I'm going to use more, my liver be damned! As soon as I figure out the correct brewing quantities, I'll post them here as part of my quest to fix the shortcomings of the internet.

Fun Fact: sassafras:
Root beer is now brewed from sassafras root with the cancerous safrole removed, or from imitation sassafras flavor.

Fun Fact 2: sassafras:
Gumbo File is powdered sassafras leaves (which have lower safrole content)

Fun Fact 3: sassafras:
In large quantities sassafras may act as a hallucinogen.


Overheard on CNN2:

The woman-"news" anchor: "His vice president claimed to have invented the internet..." introducing this story about the new Clinton Library containing the complete archive of both emails Clinton sent during his presidency

Oh dear, how to go about this tactfully,

Dear dipshits,

stop reporting complete and utter bullshit as fact




Fun With Google: Electablity!

"_______ is the most electable"

Dean 233
Clark 178
Edwards 43
Kerry 35
Kucinich 8
Lieberman 5
Sharpton 0
Gephardt 3
Graham 2
Braun 1

Coveted Socktopi Endorsement:

He's the most liberal and the most electable.

And besides, I just like saying All Patriot, No Act.



The White House has set up a blocking system to prevent e-mails from union activist groups and other advocacy groups from being delivered to the White House e-mail system. Those sending the e-mail messages are not being notified that their messages are not getting through. The White House has not responded to requests for information about the e-mail blocking.

Update: Grand Royal

If we are going to pool our money and buy Grand Royal Records, LLC, we are going to need more than $65,000, because that's what the auction finished at, reserve not met. We are going to regret not buying Grand Royal for the rest of out lives.


Drug Testing

"Lion's Tail" is a South African plant called "wild dagga" which was smoked by the Hottentots because it produces a marijuana like effect. . .

So last week, when I was in San Luis Obisbo, I was surprised to find it growing in a planter on the sidewalk. I'd never seen Lion's Tail in person, so I wasn't sure I had correctly identified it. But I had, it is very distinctive looking, there can be no mistaking it. So I pocketed some of the buds. Then when I get back home (and have internet again) I find out on Erowid that smoking the leaves and buds is doable, but highly unpleasant! You're supposed to smoke the dried bright orange flowers!

So now I gots to wait until I'm back in SlO to pick some more of it.

But while I was there I also bought an ounce of Damiana, (divided into 24 tea bags), an aphrodisiac which was smoked by the Aztecs. I smoked it right in the tea bag it came in and it gave me a horrible cough, like an asthma attack that lasted for 3 days. But other than that, it was kinda nice. Erowid doesn't mention not being able to breathe, in fact quite the opposite is noted, so I don't know if that was the tea bag smoke or the damiana smoke.

Also, I bought some Morning Glory seeds from noted drug emporium: the Target Garden Center, but after reading this, I'm too scared to eat them. I think I might not have gotten the super-psychoactive variety anyway. I got "Crimson Rambler," which may not be the type with the most hallucinogenic magic. I guess the only way to find out is to eat them. If they are duds, I can always plant them.

I think it's pretty obvious, I have no idea what I'm doing.


all the news that's been ignored

Watergate Watergate Watergate.

Republican staff members of the US Senate Judiciary Commitee infiltrated opposition computer files for a year, monitoring secret strategy memos and periodically passing on copies to the media, Senate officials told The Globe.

Now in 3 papers.


I hate the government

I'm starting a new political movement for fiscally responsible, socially liberal persons. Our first objective is that California secede from the union.


Like a million puking butterflies

The best and worst clam-juice-based energy drink in the world is the new Clamato Energia


Without TiVo, we'd have nothing.

Halliburton is going to drill on Mars

You can't make this stuff up. Now that the Hubble Telescope has been abandoned to make way for Halliburton-Mars pork barrel spending, why not take a look at some of the nice Hubble desktop wallpapers the telescope had offered us over the years.

M16, the Eagle Nebula:

The one on the left is 4 light years long.

Heads up: Sim City Classic

You can play the original Sim City online for free over at the Maxis website. Cool.


Fun Fact: In 'N' Out

Of course, if you ask for the vegetarian burger (with ketchup and mustard instead of sauce) you get a $1.10 hamburger minus the meat.

But you can also ask for double of all the plant fillings, for free! The result, with 2 or 3 slices of tomato, 2 slices of onion, and a big wad of crisp lettuce, is so big as to make it difficult to eat. That's right, it's awesome.

But maybe next time I'll just ask for double tomato.

Clark/Dean 2004

You know, Clark/Dean would be the "General Medicine" ticket, and for that reason alone, I think we should go for it.

Damn, I'm good. Somebody should pay me for this stuff.


Be very afraid.


Head's Up: Let's pool our money!

The Beastie Boys' Grand Royal record label is up for auction, current bid $12,500.

He won't last 5 minutes in prison

As far as I'm concerned, Jack White can punch anybody he wants.


the prime of my youth has ended

Did I mention that Nerd Alert was my favorite post ever? And the ones that follow it on topics like Carbonated Milk and Microsoft Word are pretty good too.
I no longer have the wit and insight of my youth. My long decay into obsolescence has seemingly begun.

Happy 1000th Socktopi Visitor!

But seriously, who are you people? And where did comments go? Oh well.

Recipe #10: Birch Tree Bark Tea

You can make a (supposedly medicinal) tea from birch bark. If you make an incision or take a broken branch, you can peel off the bark. Take a small handful of pieces and boil in 4 cups of water. Simmer with the lid on for 20 minutes and strain. The taste is pleasantly neutral, and the color is a nice orange. I recommend adding other more flavorful ingredients to a base of the birch tea. Try boiling the bark with fresh rosemary or fresh ginger. To be safe with regards to your liver, I wouldn't drink more than 2 cups of birch tea per day.

a weekend away from it all

Hit the Fungus Fair this weekend in Santa Cruz with Nate. Afterwards we went to the arcade and played an environmental Discs of Tron, then off to the Fish Rap Live! reunion party where I met the original Harry Buds.
But now I'm back, so there should be near daily posts from now on.


Tokyo Disney?

You can stream a really cool remix album of Disney songs from Japan called "Readymade Digs Disney." Just click on "song list." That's all I know. Give it a listen. Boingboing sent me there.

PETA has a mad cow site up at, to which the National Cattlemen's Beef Association responds "We expect this sort of outrageous action from PETA."

They have a point. Running a website is outrageous.

National Cattlemen's spokeswoman Jacque Matsen said Wednesday her organization had been looking into acquiring the site, but the owner's asking price is no less than $2.5 million.

So how did PETA end up with the site?

"The owner is sympathetic to the cause," said Bruce Friedrich, PETA's director of vegan outreach. "It's on loan to us for a month."

I am not making this up

The current Newsweek claims that Joe Lieberman's book An Amazing Adventure was going to be called Joe and Hadassah's Excellent Adventure until his advisers advised against it for some reason.

In retrospect, it couldn't have hurt his chances...

Also, the Blogger spell check wants to replace "Hadassah" with "hedgehog"


The Price is Right

Watch this awesome Price is Right Video, with a crazy jumping dancing guy. (Via BoingBoing)


Vote NO on Jesus

Today's America should not cater to the bleeding-heart politics of men like Howard Dean and Jesus.

Fun Fact(s): Tom Lehrer

(1)Tom Lehrer graduated from Harvard with a math degree when he was 18, but he never left school. (2)He wrote "Fight Fiercely Harvard" in 1945. (3)After quitting showbiz more than 30 years ago, he continued to teach, and admirably illustrated his lifestyle rhetorically asking "Didn't you ever have a week or two off where you didn't have anything to do?" (4)He once explained his decision to retire with the oft-misquoted "Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize." (5)And after writing about 30 other great songs, he penned "Silent E" for The Electric Company. (6)I once had lunch with him while he discussed musicals. We would have discussed them, but I am ignorant of musicals, whereas Tom until recently co-taught a class on Musical Theatre. I do recall that he felt South Park was the only deserving Oscar nominee for "Best Musical" given that the other nominees such as Aimee Mann weren't musicals, just pop-songs from soundtracks. (7)Tom is hugely popular in England and Australia, and even gave an interview to the Sydney Morning Herald last March even though this conflicts with his stated plan to cut down on his junk mail by encouraging rumors of his demise. (8)Tom keeps a clip file of news articles that refer to him as "the late Tom Lehrer." (9)And ladies, he's single!

The Internet Fails Again: Dick Gregory

Everything I read in a book should also be on the internet. But alas.

Tonight I read the Tom Lehrer and Dick Gregory chapters of Seriously Funny and learned that in the late 1950's Gregory worked at a post office, but was fired because he was filing letters addressed to Mississippi as "overseas"- but the internet hasn't picked up on this lovely anecdote, so I'll repeat it here. Because if it's not on the internet, it doesn't exist.

P.S. I love Tom Lehrer.


If you were born in 1993,

The Beastie Boys have always been morally upstanding feminists, and poignant advocates for social justice.

Fun Fact: Beastie Boys

Licensed To Ill was originally going to be called Don't Be a Faggot.


Fun with Flash

I have no idea what's going on.


We're all going to die

John Stauber, co-author of "Trust Us, We're Experts" and "Toxic Sludge is Good For You" and "Weapons of Mass Deception" also wrote a book back in 1997 called "Mad Cow USA" and he really doesn't want to say I Told You So